Try This Before Letting Your Child Quit Music Lessons

In my opinion it is better to make a long term time investment in music lessons sharpening valuable creative and artistic skills, and not be a career musician as an adult, rather than quit after a few months and miss out on the gift of music. Which is why keeping your child in music lessons but having a SMALLER PRACTICE EXPECTATION might be a good move.

This will allow your child continue lessons and pursue other interests so they can become well rounded individuals. Certainly there is a limit, you can't expect your 8 year old to be in soccer, basketball, guitar, be in the school play, have a tutor, and take art classes.

The following suggestion is intended to produce musically literate individuals who can competently appreciate and participate in music making. The following suggestion is not advisable for grooming career musicians.

Reduce Music Time

At a young age, music lessons should be about fostering musical interest, reaping the benefits of musical skill, and having fun! This will make positive associations with learning music and encourage your child to pursue music more deliberately at a later time, if they choose.

Ask your child's teacher teacher to lighten the homework expectation. Yes you read that right! A lighter practice load will be more achievable and provide the motivating sense of accomplishment one feels when completing a task - a series of small wins.

I often have students who are taking music lessons, and are also in the school play, in sports, extracurricular classes, and of course have their own interests (legos, reading, skateboarding, etc). I let their parents know my practice expectation is small. in those cases, I usually ask for 5 times a week for 10 minutes.

After a while, kids figure out what they want to pursue more deliberately, and will quit what no longer interests them. Until then, I think it is unreasonable to ask them to pick only one activity to focus on. My suggestion comes with a caveat. Are you limiting your child's time playing videogames and other passive activities? If not, It would be better to reduce time on those kinds of activities to make time for enriching activities, BEFORE reducing music time.

The Strategy

Inform the teacher that your child may be overworked, and you do not want to risk them wanting to quit lessons. Some instructors might retort with something like “they have to make time to practice.” This is certainly sound advice for a teenager or adult who has decided that they WANT to pursue music, but forcing a child to practice could turn them off from lessons and music forever.

Let them know about other commitments, and expectations they have in their lives – homework, family obligations etc. A teacher that is sensitive to their student’s situation will understand this and know how to restructure the class for it to focus on fun and engaging material rather than producing an instrumental superstar.

By default, there is an expectation of regular music practice from music teachers - and rightly so. After all, it is their intention to produce competent musicians. This is almost always the case with teachers who are used to working with older children and adults. They may sometiemes forget that young children have short attention spans and do not fully comprehend the concept of the long-term benefits of practice.

Last Resort

A lighter load should be a last resort strategy. You must try other things to re-engage your child in lessons before trying this. The reason you don't want to do this first is that it could send wrong message to your child about perseverance and grit.

This strategy can also serve as tool to teach children that sometimes we need to strategically and temporarily reduce time on, (or quit) some projects to more thoroughly focus on others. This works both ways: if your child has decided that music is their focus, then they are going to have to strategically reduce time on sports, video games, etc. If they decide that sports is what they love, then reducing time on music makes sense.

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Conclusion

There are so many adults who remember their childhood lessons with a strict teacher who made them practice scales all the time! I have even heard some adults say they hated their piano lessons. If your child seems less interested in lessons, or becomes unmotivated to practice, then think about having a talk with your child’s teacher about reducing the practice expectation BEFORE QUITTING MUSIC. Music lessons for children are more than about being a great performer, they are about learning valuable creative and artistic skills applicable to anything in life. Help your child to remember childhood music lessons fondly, rather than as a stressful experience. If you want help deciding if reducing practice assignments is the right choice for your child, reach out to me in the comments, or send me an email, ask.music.alonso@gmail.com or send me a DM on Instagram, @practice_percussion.

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