Your Child Can Love Music Practice: Part1

For most people the idea of practicing an instrument seems like tedious and drudging work. However it is possible to actually enjoy the work of practicing an instrument. Teaching our children how to enjoy music practice and other such skills that require daily and regular maintenance is a huge benefit to them and everyone around them. It teaches them about perseverance, fulfilling expectations and responsibilities, and the value of process. Below I will share some tips on how to make practice enjoyable!

Set a routine

You have probably noticed that you are more productive within a routine. They are also tremendously beneficial for children. This article explains in greater detail why routines are effective for establishing habits and other benefits. Parents.com explains the benefits of routines specifically for toddlers.

Schedule a block of time during which the student is alert and does not have other activities competing for attention. Examples might include: first thing in the morning; or right after school; or right before or after dinner depending on the family’s schedule. Myfunpianostudio.com suggests,

“When a child comes to expect that 8am every morning is piano practice time, there will be less resistance, especially if parents hold their ground from the very beginning.”

That part about holding your ground is worth repeating. Expect initial resistance to practice, but so as long as what you’re asking your child to do is reasonable, hold your ground! If practice time becomes too difficult consider moving practice time to another part of the day, but remain firm that practice must happen. Myfunpianostudio assures that setting a routine "is one of the most effective things you can do, along with showing sincere interest and support, to help your child succeed.”

Try this time-saving hack from amotherfarfromhome.com to help your child become autonomous in their routine!

Expectation List

Make it a fact of life, a part of the daily routine. Think of it as a kind of "chore list," but with responsibilities such as: make bed, brush teeth, read, do homework, keep toys and play area tidy, review piano practice assignment, and other such things that help our children to learn values of a responsible adult. Hoffman Academy says,

“The key is to have a list of tasks that must be done first, no questions, no excuses, and put piano practice on that list. Be ready for rolling eyes, whining, and begging. Your child will test the limits, whatever they are. If you hold firm, and let them know how pleased you are when they comply, then soon the battle will be over.”

This is similar to the first tip, however the key difference is that daily practice will become a necessary and EXPECTED part of the routine. Children will fuss less when they expect something.

After a successful integration into the routine there will be very few battles to get your child to practice. See this sample task list for ideas on how to schedule a day. “A little daily piano practice doesn’t take long, and when it is done the rest of the day is freedom. There’s nothing more rewarding than that.” After the practice routine becomes automatic then a physical list and verbal reminders will be less and less necessary.

Make a Song

Add creativity to your child’s assignments; ask them to make a song for you, or grandpa, or auntie. Even if it’s just a few notes of their own, your child will feel proud to express his or her personal creativity, and will probably be itching to show you what they created! It is a fantastic opportunity for your child to explore the instrument and develop a unique connection to it that is all their own. This works especially well for children who are a bit more self-contained and/or like to do things their own way.

For this to happen they need to have easy access to the instrument and an environment free of judgement or negative criticisms as they explore the sounds their instrument can make. It may sound “wrong” to adult ears, but the young musician could be absolutely enthralled by the sounds they make. In any case, takelessons.com offers sound advice, being an “active and enthusiastic listener” in your child’s music making will teach them that “creating music generates good feelings, and practicing [their instrument] can actually be fun!”

Show Pride

Children constantly seek validation and approval from older kids, adults, and especially their parents. Giving them deserved praise will set them up to associate music practice positively and reinforce the idea that music practice is a worthwhile effort in itself. Careful not to overpraise, as Psychology Today suggests,

“Too much praise of any sort can also be unhealthy. Research has found that students who were lavished with praise were more cautious in their responses to questions, had less confidence in their answers, were less persistent in difficult assignments, and less willing to share their ideas.”

Praise given in a balanced and carefully worded way is highly effective for developing motivation. Parents.com suggests, “offer frequent encouragement, and save the praise for when it really counts, your child will be more resilient and confident because of it.” Occasional reminders of how proud you are the effort they put into practicing and learning an instrument will be enough.

Additionally, take note of how your child receives praise. When I was a child, I typically did not like getting too much attention. I have memories of my mother showering me with praise for a job well done and being rather turned off to doing the activity any further. I would wait until she was out of sight to continue my activity. As an adult, i have learned to take compliments and praise with more grace. Nonetheless, I feel still awkward when receiving compliments or praise after a performance. Gauge how much or how little praise your child actually needs.

5) Love and Limits The following excerpts from Hoffman Academy neatly encapsulate all of the points made in this article.

“Research shows that offering people extrinsic rewards isn’t the best motivator. For children, extrinsic rewards like stickers, candy, toys, or money can be motivating, but they’re not so effective in the long term.”

These kinds of external motivators are good TEMPORARY motivational supplements. Music lessons can be an opportunity to teach your child about intrinsic rewards, “those good feelings that come when you’re doing something you like, accomplishing something you’re proud of, or you’re with people you care about.” The article continues, “There’s a sense of well-being that comes from making good choices, and that’s what we want to develop in our children.”

“When you’ve established a deep, caring, and understanding relationship with your child, your child will naturally value the things that you value.”

That is probably the single most influential thing you can do for your child as far as musical development.

“They will feel good when they make choices that please you. That means that by giving positive attention to piano practice, you’ve already made it rewarding. Let your child know that you enjoy hearing him or her play. Tell them you appreciate how hard they’re working. Celebrate with them when they learn a new skill or can play a new song without mistakes.”

Focus most of the praise on the effort and process rather than the results and outcome which will help them understand their own intrinsic motivation. (For more about intrinsic motivation, consult this and this).

“Even with all the praise and attention you can give, practicing [an instrument] probably won’t feel as rewarding as running around outside in the summer sunshine with friends. ... As a parent, it’s your job to set limits that help your children grow into mature, responsible, happy adults. That’s why, even during summer break, you expect them to make their bed, do their chores, brush their teeth, and practice [their instrument] before they go outside to play.”

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Conclusion

Create a routine and integrate music practice into it. Help them get creative, and judiciously show support, validation and approval of their creative efforts. This will help develop intrinsic motivation and set up your child for long term success in music and any other long-term endeavor.

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